Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Return Of My Minimal Ideas


So I took nine months off from blogging. Clearly, neither one of us missed it. But, as is the case so often, I can no longer hold back. Off we go...
Miley Cyrus. "American Idol" mentor. Seriously.
You think I'm kidding? You WISH I was kidding. Miley Cyrus is as qualified to give musical advice as Jesse James is qualified to give marital advice.
And, Jesse...or, as I used to refer to you, "Mr. Sandra Bullock"...what the hell are you thinking about? (I'm fairly sure I know what you're thinking with!)
Closer to home: the Sacramento Kings lost tonight. To the previously 7-game winning New Jersey Nets. BTW -- that's seven games ALL year.
Arnold Palmer jumped ugly with "Husband Of The Year" Tiger Woods on Wednesday, saying he needs to be more open with the media. Here's what I want to know from El Tigre: what the hell is so wrong with Elin? Have you MET your wife?
NCAA Tournament: here's what my bracket is now good for: folded up twelve times, it is just the right thickness to balance the wobbly table in my garage.
Suggestion: become a bone marrow donor. Sometime, someplace, it might mean the difference between life and death. Click the link. Give till it helps.
Recently, I've met some people who've had a profound impact on me. One, an "old soul" in a young person. Another, a survivor of life's most difficult swerves. Still another, a Deputy Sheriff who uses humor to diffuse difficult situations. There are some truly special people in the world, if you are fortunate enough to meet them.
And then, there are assholes like the douchebag I witnessed at a gas station in West Sacramento a few days ago. While his wife was pumping gas, he was berating her -- and with considerable venom -- for spilling a cup of something in the car.
It's all about balance. For all the jagoffs on the planet, you might once in a while find a lovely flower. Or a yummy cupcake. If you're in the right place.

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