The Long And Winding Air

As I put this into my laptop to transfer it later, we've made the first leg of our journey from Sacramento to Cancun. It's a 96-minute hop on USAirways to Phoenix and its bustling Sky Harbor Airport. USAir occupies two terminals here. We've learned this, because our first plane landed at 749am at gate A2...and our Cancun flight is to board at 829am at gate B28. It's exactly as long as it sounds...two full terminals away, and a lot of moving through airports done by folks whose fastest move at this hour of the morning -- let's be honest -- is to the crapper.

It also does not help that, before we are allowed to deplane in Phoenix, paramedics have to come on board to assist a very nice gentleman at the rear of the plane, who has run into a bit of trouble on this, his 74th birthday. Apparently, no one knew flying would trigger his heart and breathing to go askew. Happily, we're told he'll be fine.

For the next flight, USAir has us on a Boeing 757. It's not called that because it's a model number; we're fairly sure 757 is the year this piece was constructed. There are painted sections of the wing that aren't painted (a real confidence booster); video monitors folded out of the ceiling that were probably once security monitors at a prison; and a decided lack of in-flight entertainment (six channels of the alleged audio service don't work, but you'd not know it unless you brought your own headphones - this flight won't sell you any).

USAir also charges seven bucks for a beer or a sandwich; seven bucks for a pillow and blanket; and 23 bucks for your first checked bag (if you check in online first). This, on top of their already non-existent low fares.

As this leg of the journey is set to start, it is already delayed. Mechanics are running in and out of the plane, brandishing screwdrivers and other metal implements. We're told that it's a minor problem...it ends up taking 30 minutes to fix...and by the time we're in the takeoff queue, we're on the ground an extra three-quarters of an hour.

Oh, but at least I've got that seven dollar beer to look forward to...