AFL - And Not That Arena Jive

I admit it. I absolutely LOVE Australian Rules Football.

Down under, they like their rugby...love motorsports...cricket goes over big there as well...but the Australian Football League, perhaps out of the need to promote itself, refers to "footy" as the national game.

Might as well be. Half the players looked like they ought to be serving you vegemite and Yabbies (Google it) in your favorite Gold Coast eatery. The other half look like that dude from Midnight Oil. And a couple, much like Colin Hay of Men At Work, are legitimately crosseyed.

What you've heard about AFL is true: 18 men per side on the oval at once; no pads of any kind; no "passing" in the American sense; and at least one guy nearly gets killed in the course of each match, week to week. They hit, they punch, they land opportunistic knee shots on inopportunistic (and delicate) spots on their opponents. And they run. Constantly. For an average of 125 minutes per game in real time.

There are 22 weeks in the regular season; 16 teams compete (17 next year) and the Grand Final is played at the end of Australia's winter -- in October, at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. In fact, if there's one criticism of AFL, its that ten teams (perhaps too many) are based in or around Melbourne in Victoria.

Still, if the Aussies want to portray their men as rough, tough, decisive types, the AFL fills the bill. No offense, ladies...this is a MAN'S sport for MEN only. Search it on YouTube or order Setanta Sports on DirecTV or your local organized crime -- er, cable, company. Watch the matches LIVE late nights on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, or the weekend highlight show on Tuesdays at 0100 ET. If you'd done so a couple of seasons ago, you'd have seen Steve Salapek of the Port Adelaide Power shatter his nose by running in the tailbone of an opponent; blackening both eyes and giving himself concussion, all in the first quarter...only to be bandaged up, taped up, and out playing again in the third term...kicking two goals. MANLY!

Give AFL a watch. Then, tell me that's not real. Smashmouth. Football. Rich NFL guys are such pusses.